You Said You Loved Me
by Windlass
Summary: One angry moment causes Sam to make the changes needed to pick up the pieces of his broken relationship with Andy. Based off S4E1, kitchen scene. How I would like to see it go, rather than being long and drawn out over the course of a season. One shot.


Andy cheerfully walked to the kitchen at 15 Division hoping to reconnect with Sam. She had no reason to believe there was anything else wrong between them, he seemed like he was happy to see her, the way his smile lit up and a look of relief washed over his face when she opened the truck door. He smiled, even asked her how she was doing. She was hopeful they could meet for that drink, now, and work through the mess to get their relationship back on track. Instead, what she saw and overheard when she almost stepped into the kitchen shook her to the core; she always said she hated surprises.

_"So, McNally's back," _Marlo said.

_"Mhhmmm?" _Sam returned, his eyebrows arched.

_"What does that mean?"_

_"Nothing. It's in the past."_

Sam kissed Marlo and she laughed, obviously delighted by his response. "Some of us work," she said smugly, then she walked away, leaving Sam facing the doorway. What he saw, rather _who_ he saw, and the expression on her face at seeing and hearing that, left him feeling like he'd just been punched in the gut. Burned in his mind was Andy's pained expression, and that little shrug of her shoulder she did that questioned, 'what the hell, Sam?'.

She turned to walk away, devastated, while Sam leaned against the doorframe, tapped his fingers, not knowing what to do except watch her go. Another big mistake, add that to the long list of mistakes they'd already made together. Complicated, always so complicated. He hated complicated, wanted clear cut, but he knew deep inside that clear cut wasn't the answer for him.

Later after shift, Sam sat with Oliver at the bar. "So brother, you relieved McNally's back?"

"Um, I guess. Glad she's ok,"

"Come on brother, is that the best you can do?"

"What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about. Loose ends. You need to talk to her,"

"See, that's where you're wrong, Oliver." He took a drink. "I'm done talking to her. I tried that six months ago and look where that got us,"

"Sammy, Sammy, Sammy. No one said it would be easy. Take it from me."

"Yeah well. It's over, Oliver. I've moved on with my life,"

"That's not how it looks, bro. You're still in love with her," Oliver finished the last of his beer and paid the tab. "Gotta run, brother. Just think about what I said,"

Sam waved him away and stared into his beer. Of course Oliver had his back, had his best interests in mind. That's not what he was looking for right now. He just wanted someone to convince him he was doing the right thing. With Marlo.

* * *

Nick and Andy walked into the Penny together after the debriefing. They looked exhausted, to be honest. Sam was still there, sucking back beer after beer, until Liam told him to stop. "You're going to need a ride home, Sam,"

"Nah, I'm good. I'll walk home,"

Andy briefly glanced at Sam, her eyes filled with sadness. He caught her staring and she quickly looked away, beginning a conversation with Nick, who then also looked Sam's way.

"You should talk to him, Andy. Look how miserable he is!"

"No way, Nick. Just when I thought there might be hope left for us, I have to witness _that_."

She stood up then, in direct contradiction of what she'd just told Nick seconds ago, and made her way over to where Sam was sitting, or rather, slumped. She poked his shoulder really hard. "Hey!"

He turned his head and looked at her, his dark eyes unreadable.

"Nick over there says you're miserable. But you're NOT miserable are you, Sam!? You've got a warm bed and a warm woman, too, huh? That's all that matters to you, isn't it, getting some?" She poked him again, not really expecting a rouse out of him.

"Andy...it's not like that, " he began. He raised his hand to touch her.

She practically screamed now, "Don't you touch me! I don't know why I expected to come home to something more...I believed you, Sam. I hoped you were real. And honest. And trustworthy. And before I left, you said you loved ME! You're a liar, Sam!"

By this time, Nick had come around to get a hold of Andy before she did any more damage. He wrapped his arms around her waist. "Andy. Come on, I'm taking you home."

He glared at Sam who could only sit by as her angry accusations rained down on him.

Andy tried twisting herself out of Nick's grip, more anger bubbling up to the surface, but Nick dragged her away literally kicking and screaming.

Liam sighed with relief as the door closed on them. Last thing he wanted was a mess to clean up.

"Now you, Swarek. Go home." he ordered. "I'm closing up soon any way,"

* * *

"You said you loved ME" Five words, emphasis on 'me', looped their way round and round in Sam's mind. He couldn't stop hearing them, the angry tone, followed by 'You're a liar, Sam.'

Maybe she was right. Maybe he was a phony, a liar. He couldn't seem to keep his word, at least not when it came to her. He recalled the late summer night when they were just sitting on the tailgate of his truck, talking. Talking about their relationship, and if it ever went south. He stopped, couldn't bear to remember what he'd told her about that.

He felt Marlo stir next to him. Yup, he was a phoney. A liar. _"It's in the past," _he told her. He couldn't be further from the truth. Nothing about this relationship fit, though he desperately willed it to. Willed it to replace the love that was missing from his life, willed it to replace the chaotic with the normal, willed her kisses to erase the memory of Andy's kisses. It wasn't working, especially not since Andy returned home and made his heart flip flop in his chest.

"Hey," she whispered sleepily. "Can't sleep?"

"No. Too many things going on in my head,"

"And, one of them would be Andy McNally?"

He sucked in his breath. He exhaled quietly. "Is it that obvious?"

"Yeah, Sam. It is." Marlo was fully awake now, propping her head up on her elbow as she looked at him.

He was caught. The lie was up. "Look, Marlo, I'm going home. Can't stay here," He got up and searched for his clothes.

"Sam," He turned to look at Marlo. "I think this is goodbye,"

He stood beside her now, touched her brow.

"I guess it is. I'll come by and pick up the rest of my things later- when you're not home, ok?"

"Goodbye Sam," she said, her tone a combination of relief and sadness. She heard the door close behind him.

* * *

At parade the next day, he saw McNally sitting next to Collins as usual. These two had become really close during their time UC, he understood that. Remembering how disappointed and hurt Andy had been when she saw him and Marlo in the kitchen, he determined that she and Collins didn't get romantically involved, which made him feel worse about his decision to take up a new romance when this one really wasn't finished.

"Swarek, I want you and McNally to cover..." he heard Frank saying, sort of phasing out the rest. "Got it, Detective Swarek?"

He shook his head, hoping somehow McNally picked up the details. He saw her looking at him, her brown eyes blazing impatiently. "Well, I guess we make the best of this situation," she hissed, showing him she loathed the idea of being with him right now.

He took the keys and made for the cruiser. She followed, not saying a word.

An hour later, he had to break this silence. "Wanna stop for a coffee?"

She looked out the window, shrugged her shoulders. It drove him crazy. "Look, Andy, I get it. I'm the scum of the earth to you, I get that. But we can't work like this. You need to talk to me,"

She sighed. "Pertaining to work, ok. Anything else is off limits." Her brown eyes bore deep into his. He felt every emotion she had locked up inside, saw them flashing in her eyes, and he understood what she needed to hear him say right now.

"I'm sorry. I do love you like no one else. I screwed up big time, but I'm working on it,"

"What are you talking about?"

"I'm not with Marlo any more,"

Andy blinked, thought she didn't hear him correctly. She remained quiet, biting her lower lip, looking at Sam with a confused expression on her face.

"Andy. I said..." She put her hand up to stop him. "I thought I didn't hear you right,"

They sat in silence as people pulled in and out of their parking stalls at the coffee shop. Andy's eyes were swimming in unspent tears, tears that sprang to the surface all afresh at the memory of seeing them together.

Sam had a little smile on his face, not sure if she was happy or sad with his revelation. She was hard to read today. He arched his eyebrows and reached for her hand. She didn't pull away. "Andy? Can you please say something?" his voice was soft and gentle. It was enough to open the flood gates to her broken heart and she let go of all the hurt and rejection she'd felt. All she could say between sobs was, "Why, Sam?"

"Why what McNally? Why'd I break up with Marlo?" he joked, his usual way of dealing with uncomfortable situations. He knew what she meant. When Andy didn't answer, he mustered up the courage to begin his side of the story. There they sat, not looking at the other, yet listening with more intent than they ever had before. Andy didn't interrupt him as he shared his feelings from the day she left him to go UC with Collins. He shared the emotional roller coaster he was on for months and how he'd finally decided to move on. "Adapt or die, McNally. So I took a new outlook on life, I began to work out more, I ate better, I went to bed on time..."

Andy bristled at that, ever so slightly, but he saw it, felt it. He squeezed her hand tightly, no words could ever take away the hurt and mistrust he knew she would be feeling about that. The difference between him and her; he thought about the days after Andy's break up with Luke, the difference was that he and Andy hadn't been in a relationship when Andy started seeing Luke. Sure, he'd wanted to be from quite early on, but he wanted what she wanted, wanted her to be happy, even if it meant stabbing a knife in his chest everytime he saw them together. With him and Marlo, the difference was that he and Andy had left things undone . He'd told her he loved her the last time he saw her. She must've re-evaluated her feelings for him while UC and put her eggs in that basket. Hoping there would be a chance to make things work when she got home. He swallowed the lump in his throat. As had often been the case with them, the timing between them was off. Way off.

She spoke first after her tears dried. "You said you loved me, Sam. Do you still mean that? Do you love me, Sam Swarek? There's no need to go on if you don't know by now," Sam gave her the most serious look she'd ever seen. "I swear I love you, Andy." Her corner of her mouth curled up into a tiny smile for him. She nervously bit her lower lip.

"Do you still love me, Andy?" Her smile broke into a wide grin, she didn't have to think twice. "Yes, Sam. I do. I love you!"

He began to laugh, felt like years of weight and anguish just fell off his shoulders. She loved him. He loved her.

"Where do we go from here?" he asked. Andy smiled.

"I don't have the answer to that, Sam. I wish I did. But I do know we go forward and we go together. No more running away." He nodded his head in agreement.

"Now, Officer McNally, would you like to join me for a celebratory cup of coffee before we have to go back to the barn?"


End file.
